The Test Will Not Be Long
Dearest daughter in Jesus Christ,
Don’t be discouraged, my daughter. As Jesus wants to try your fidelity, He deprives you, for a set time, of His sensible Presence. He showed this behavior even toward His own Mother. Jesus had intuited the grief His absence would cause; nevertheless, He distanced Himself for a day or so from her and remained in the temple without her knowledge. If it pleases Jesus, who is all love, to try you in this same way, don’t torment yourself, arm yourself with courage, and wait patiently for His return.
Although He is always close to you to help you every time you ask for His help, it is good, though, that He sometimes pretends to go away so that you could better understand how unfortunate you would be if you were to really lose Him.
When Jesus favors a soul with His consolations He does this to comfort her in her sorrows. Then, when he permits that she be abandoned to aridity and to desolation, He does this so that she may not become too proud of the kindness He has toward her.
All, or almost all, the souls who have faithfully followed Jesus have had similar alternating experiences of joy and sadness, devotion and aridity, peace and temptation. When Jesus appeared to distance Himself from them, pretending to abandon those dear souls to themselves, they felt the extent of their weakness; but they did not lose heart, because they were confident of Jesus’ help. When Jesus’ grace sustained you with sweetness and consolation, you walked with pleasure and happiness; but you will make greater gains in virtue now that He is trying you with aridity while you bear patiently, humbly and submissively the state of abandonment in which Jesus pretends to leave you. It is true that this state is a sad one because sometimes it seems more a punishment than a trial; nevertheless, daughter, don’t lose heart, but have confidence and firm hope, and the trial will not be long as it wasn’t for Mary, His Mother. Imitate the solicitude that this Mother had in seeking her Son. Search for Him, as she did, with a holy desire and a holy impatience to find Him. But never complain. Jesus owes you nothing. If you have some complaint, let it be, according to the example of Mary, a lament of love.
I want to hope that Jesus has not distanced Himself because of some infidelity of yours, but if such be the case, ask His pardon and practice some painful humiliation. Promise Jesus that from now on, you will pay greater attention to avoiding everything that could displease Him. Tell Him that whatever the reason may be for His behavior toward you, you submit to being put to the test in the way that He may want, and for as long as He may want, so long as you be allowed to preserve His holy love always in your heart.
What I could assure you of, my daughter, is that Jesus loves you with a love of predilection. Therefore, see to it that you never lose esteem for such grace, holding yourself ever vigilant so as not to commit the smallest infidelity to grace as is wholeheartedly wished for you by one who blesses you maternally and is pleased to call herself, in Jesus,
Your most affectionate Mother